Updates

So, since my wordpress is acting up lately and I haven’t been able to acces my account in about two weeks, I’m gonna take this opportunity to write some thoughts and exciting things that happened to me lately.

First of all, I’m in cloud nine right now, because two weeks from now I’m gonna be in FRANCE ! It’s been my life-long dream to go to France and I am so thankful that I’m gonna be able to do that. I’ve got a whole week of visiting and falling in love with the coffee and the cakes and the frenchmen, the class, the architecture and see the birthplace of my lovers, the macarons. And I couldn’t be more excited. I’m also going with my dearest and best friend, which is gonna be amazing! We’re staying at this youth hostel in Strasbourg, which is situated at the top floor of an actual castle! It’s also gonna be around the holidays and I am PRAYING for snow. On our way back we’ll also visit Vienna and Prague, so I’ll make sure to be back with tons of photos (taken with my brand new camera, which is another amazing thing my parents were kind enough to offer me) from all the Christmas Makets.

In other news, I am going to be back with an article soon enough, provided that my wordpress decides to get back to its old self and actually function for more than 10 minutes.

If anyone reading this has some tips and useful info about what I should visit while on my trip, please, do share.

Thanks to all!

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Everybody’s on the run.

All day. Every day.

Some run towards something. Some run away from something.

And her?

Well, her story is a little complicated.

She didn’t know when it started. Didn’t know how, or where, but she found herself right in the middle of it. No tuning back. No do-overs. Just as they say, it’s do or die. But who are they? What qualifies them to be give such radical ultimatums? Maybe you can stall it. Maybe you can avoid it just for a little while. Maybe, just maybe, if you don’t talk about it or acknowledge its presence, it’ll go away. But it didn’t. It just got heavier. It was eating away at her as it got more and more heavy for her to carry.

All alone. As I’m walking these streets. I’m not even sure where I am anymore. The streets are intertwined. I’d like to ask for help, but I don’t know how. The people around me… they speak this language that I don’t understand. I’m trying to reach out, but they can’t hear me. And so I walk. Sometimes faster, sometimes I just drag my legs, hoping I’ll make it past the corner.

At times, it looks like some of the people I meet along the way see me, it seems like they’re looking at me, but they never do so long enough so they can see my cry for help. Or maybe it’s just my imagination. At first, I was scared. I was upset and angry and I kept on waving and screaming my lungs out. But after a while, I stopped being upset or angry. Now, the fear… that was deeply instilled into my being. But soon enough, the fear became my friend. The fear was familiar, it belonged and it gave me a sense of belonging. It was the only constant in my life. And I was  ok with it.

Until I wasn’t. It may have been the warmth of this late autumn, it may have been the memory of that november day when I found love which got me thinking…  I’ve seen beautiful things during my journey. I’ve walked past happy, courageous, fulfilled people. I’ve walked past love, and smiles, hugs and handholdings, past carpe diems, past sadness and anger and joy and despair.  And then it hit me. Like the soft thunders in those warm, rainy summer nights, it creeped into my soul.

The people, they can see me. They can hear me too. I just have to want it. I have been holding onto the wrong feeling all along. I should have been angry. And upset. I should have kept on waving and I should have kept on screaming louder and louder.

Her story? It doesn’t end here. It doesn’t begin here either. It just goes on. Towards something. Away from something. She is sometimes seen here… and there. At times bursting with joy and other times crippled with pain.

Seen… She is seen.